I'm putting the blame on these two "feelings":
I actually feel sorta-kinda-heartbroken *elk* makes me cringe at how carelessly I'll be using that word for this post. See, I've been crushing on this person for quite sometime. I think it was around first sem of second year when it started, but he was just that..."A secret crush" (whom I also secretly want to be introduced to, as corny and desperate as it may sound). We haven't met-met yet, I just see him around our campus once in a while, that's it.Just my luck, though, I saw him talking to a friend one time. They were about three feet away from me, (so deep inside kilig kilig naman ako, ganyan) pero sa isip ko bakit bagay sila :( huhuhu. Parang kinikilig din ako for them <--- Seryoso yan, walang echos. But blinded by my adoration for the guy, I brushed that petty feeling off, malisyoso lang siguro ako masyado. Hehe. But (ulit) just a while ago, I saw a picture of them together, and as devastating as it is for me BAGAY TALAGA SILA. huhuhu So yun, dun nagtatapos ang love story namin. Hahaha di man lang nagsimula eh no. Okay, I'm willing to let go naman eh. Nasaktan lang talaga ako HAHAHA YUCK DI KO AKALAING SASABIHIN KO YAN EVER. Moving on~~The second reason is that I'm happy. Or at least trying to be.I was loitering inside Fully Booked yesterday, and I saw a book entitled Book of Awesome (Ohkayyy ang daming "book" hahaha). Curious to see what it was about, I skimmed through the intro. Well it was basically about the author wanting to focus on the good side of life. He made it a point to write at least one awesome thing that happened to his day, compiled it, and made it to a book! Now thaaat's awesome! Naisip ko lang, for today I have three:
- I was showered with kisses by my ever-so sweet sister ALL MORNING. As in no kidding, puro laway mukha ko. Hahaha (It's a different story when nighttime came, I had the opposite by then. Nonetheless, I still survived as baby-sitter for the day FYI)
- I can now sweep my then-full bangs to the side! Yayyy
- I started reading the local book that I randomly snagged a couple months back (for only Php45, mind you!) and discovered this...
Oha! Ang galing diba? Gusto kong ipahiram yung book, promise. (Slightly scared to, sadly. Wala pa kasing nagbabalik sa mga humiram sa akin, so... ) I'm at awe with how her words tend to paint an intricate picture of the characters in my head. I also love how all ten short stories are open-ended, parang bitin na hindi. Pero sobrang relatable 'cause the setting is in the Philippines, although ibang generation lang. Basahin niyo promise :)
It makes me sad to realize that I don't know anything about your life anymore. You dont even tell me about this guy story cos honestly, you really never tried talking to me especially when I texted you... I hate to play the blame game cos I know as a friend I have shortcomings as well but I hope you get my point. I hate going back to this but it's weird that we call ourselves "bestfriends" but I think we're more of strangers now cos quite frankly we don't know a thing about each other anymore unless someone post something on their blog.....
ReplyDeleteI never thought that having different schools and set of friends or even environment can let two people forget all the fun they had together before and drift apart slowly....
I really don't get it. Call it shallow but don't you think it's the truth?
no echos here and I hope you take this seriously..... cos I am serious about it and this is just plain sad. I feel like I don't know you at all anymore.
p.s
Im not mad or anything, this is just a random thought. I'm not mad but this breaks my heart.
xx
Oh my gosh, anonymous! (Yes, I know who you are) I'm sorry if you feel that way. (And yes, I've said too many sorry's already) Gulat ako sa comment mo, I was just backreading on this post 'cos I saw something heartbreaking again. Heartbreaking in an eetsy-bitsy sense, just to make it clear. It's just a small crush, I swear. Like I said, we haven't even been introduced yet. So para lang akong stalker, actually. Hahaha. But kidding aside, I'll tell you everything you'd like to know about.......but how? Diba? The only times we get to see eachother are group hangouts.
ReplyDeleteI understand, I know where you're coming from naman. Sometimes I also feel like we're gradually drifting apart, and sad as it may sound, we're both just letting it happen. Especially me. *raises hand*
But if it's any consolation, I have never, nor will I ever intend for you to be left out from "my life". Number one BEST friend kita in the world, and I'll stand by it, with or without all the catching up (and lack of it). I sure hope it's the same for you. I love you! Don't give up on me, just 'cause I'm the laziest "replier" in the world, please :*
All righty, good night! I've lotsenlots of plates to accomplish pa. Mwah! tsup tsup mehehehe